Wednesday, February 10, 2016

"You have youth"

A few days into twenty sixteen, I saw a quote. 

That quote hit me quite hard. I realised it is time for a change. I have been on a routine for six long years. I wake up every morning at the same time for six years, have my shower routine, out of house, reach work, slather on some hand lotion, check email, head down to the parade square for assembly and go to class. 

That was the routine that consumed my life. Although to some, routines are great to keep them in place, it has become a chore. 

I started working right after graduating polytechnic at the age of nineteen. I was a fresh graduate and I remember being super clueless on my first year of work. It wasn't easy to be thrown into the corporate world at such a young age. Friends my age are in still in university but I was already an adult by the time I turned twenty one. 

I was settled in my job. I was able to handle my own projects and teach my own class. I knew I grew up too fast. At times, I reproach my situation for making me older than I really am but now, I am glad I took on such a role earlier in life. 

Five years ago, I almost wanted to leave my job to pursue my dreams of having an office 30,000 ft in the air. I considered a lot of factors. I then told myself I'll wait till my current batch of kids graduate. Fast forward three years later, the kids grew up, they eventually graduated and I am still in the same place, teaching the same things.

Only difference? 
My age.

I love my job, don't get me wrong. I enjoy teaching. I love seeing the faces of my kids when they can finally read a sentence. Or when they found out they actually passed that subject for the first time in their life. Teaching, is the most rewarding and fulfilling job. 

But as rewarding and fulfilling as it is, it didn't fill me up. I was hungry for more. I wanted to do more than just teaching. I want to explore the corporate world. I want to explore other jobs.

So before twenty sixteen began, I made a promise to myself. That the new year will be a year of change for me. I will do whatever it takes to do things differently. 

I recall someone telling me,
"You have youth."

As of today, I still have youth. But not for long. If I don't start today, I won't ever. I am four years shy of being thirty. I see children grow everyday. I see their academic growth, physical growth and mental growth. While helping my kids grow, I forgot that I need to grow as an individual too. I need to push myself further and see how far I can go. I can't just sit back and wait for life to throw lemons at me. 

There is a possibility of me leaving this job that I love so much. To explore the greener pastures on the other side. I may or may not succeed but at least I try. I don't want to grow old not trying anything and regret later in life. 

So if you're in the same predicament, and contemplating leaving the job, take a moment and ask yourself what is it that you really want. If you're staying because of certain commitments, make sure they don't hold you back for too long.

I used to say,
"I wish I am brave enough like you to tender and resign. I have this and that to settle."

Truth was, I was just coming up with excuses to justify my staying in one place. 

I am now counting down to the day I bid adieu to the place that saw me grow. I am very nervous but very excited as well. 

So what are the possibilities of me leaving? 
A definite hundred.
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