I am Strong

I think I am getting stronger. I think I am more independent. I think I am more free spirited. All of these and no men can accept it.  ...

I think I am getting stronger. I think I am more independent. I think I am more free spirited. All of these and no men can accept it. 

Before I continue what I have to say, I want you to read this article.

I found so many articles like these online. The point now is, not about travelling.

Right before I leave for Italy, I dated a man I thought was genuine enough. Whom I thought understood my dreams, aspirations and love for seeing the world given his age. I  couldn't see it at first but his annoyance with my travelling habits (occasional luxury travel) probably indicated that he doesn't like them and that he probably wants to change it too, if anything happens. 

When I made it known that I am travelling to Italy in Summer during Ramadhan, I got a few raised eyebrows. From men. Some personally emailed or texted me. They wanted to know why I decided to travel during Ramadhan. To which I replied, why not? Should I sacrifice something good because of a certain limit? Wouldn't Ramadhan be more meaningful if I practice it elsewhere? 

When I made my decision to celebrate Eid away from home, I got even more raised eyebrows. Funnily they were all from men. Most of my female followers are supportive of my move. But the men, they were out of it. 

One guy texted me while I was in Milan. He made his opinion known. He suggested that I was being selfish. He mentioned that he feels nothing for Eid too but he makes sure to be around for his parents' sake no matter how much he doesn't want to. 

Honestly, does it matter? Does it matter to you that I have decided to be away from my family on Eid? 

Eid is important. I acknowledge that. Family is important. Very important. But today is just as important, tomorrow is important too for you to spend time with your family. Everyday is important for you won't know if the next day comes. If you have been out the whole week without seeing your family only to believe that Eid is important because you get to spend time with them, then what exactly does family mean to you? 

Given a chance, I want to celebrate Eid in the Holy Land. Given a chance, I would use all my previous travel expenses to visit the Holy Land. But circumstances won't allow that. It's not about where you are, it's about the experience.

Fun fact: The very first trip I had planned for was to Mecca/Medina. Circumstances didn't allow me to go and I changed destination which led to my current obsession. 

A few months ago, another guy questioned my frequent travels to Jakarta. But why not? I never thought I have to please people like so. Men especially. All these men asked the same thing.
"What does your parents say about this?"

Whatever they say to me, shouldn't matter to you. 

But you know what? I think these men are scared. They are intimidated by strong and independent women. I am not saying I am one but they probably see me as one. I am opinionated. I know what I want and I make sure I get it. I fight, for my words to be heard. Men probably don't like that. Singaporean men to be exact. 

Singaporean men are still very traditional. They want to believe that they are way ahead in modern times but they only want a wife who will serve them at home. Don't shove me the responsibilities of a muslim wife. I know that well enough. Singaporean (or Asian) men are weak. So they look for weaker girls that they can have control over. 

I guess I am not that easy to be controlled. One of the reasons my engagement was called off then was probably due to the fact that my ex-fiancé couldn't contain me anymore. The many dates I went to probably didn't advanced because I spoke too much of my dreams. My last date probably ran away too because he realised I knew what I wanted. He, couldn't decide. And the fact that I speak my mind. I am too intense (quote).

So should a woman give up her dreams just to find a man? I say, forget it. 

This morning, when another man questioned my frequent travelling, I thought that was the ultimatum. I can't be the woman every man in this country wants. I don't think I will ever be. I grew stronger because of men like you. I became more independent because of selfish decisions from men like you. I won't settle for less.

It's really not about my travelling. It's about my strength as a woman. The independence that I gained and achieved as a woman.

If it means I have to wait longer for my jodoh, then I'll wait. I need a man who can share my strength. I need a man who can appreciate my independence. 

Just so you know. I can do whatever I want right now because I am single and I have no commitments. I know my place as a woman ultimately. When I do settle down, I will definitely want to do everything with my spouse. But right now, don't question my moves and decisions. 

You have no right.

I am strong. I am independent. Shame on you if you can't handle that. 



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