Black is Distant

picture via Google "What is your favourite colout?" "Black" Black has been a colour of solace to me...

picture via Google


"What is your favourite colout?"


"Black"

Black has been a colour of solace to me for a few years. I resonate with the colour black and for a while, it seemed like my soul. I felt very dark and mysterious, as though I was holding on to a piece of secret. Black was also the colour of my mood for a long time. I was inclined to black for it felt natural. 

Colours slowly disappeared from my life and the dark ink started to paint my life, inch by inch.

Someone once told me, "Black will not last forever."

For three years now, black was a part of me. Everyone knew me as the girl in black. It made me feel strong and powerful. In truth, black hid me. I needed to hide from the world. Wearing the darkest colour made me feel safe. Nobody will not notice me. I was afraid of colours, of life. 

Then somehow, black does not appeal to me anymore. It is as if I started painting colours back into my life. I did not feel as good walking out of the door in an all black ensemble anymore. I started wearing navy, more greys and whites. Then nudes and moss green. Then pastel blue and pinks. Black is slowly becoming a distant memory.

I have a favourite cute little bag with pineapples on it. I reach out to it as often as I do with my navy hijab. Which made me wonder. Adjusting myself to tasteful print and colours may not only mean a style change. I figured it was something bigger.

When I was darkening my wardrobe, I knew I was unhappy. I was stuck and gloomy. It felt as if the colours on me were running. At one point, my style was so minimal it felt like I was done with my life. Earlier this year, I started enjoying colours and I knew I was happier. 

I may have found the colours to my life again. I have finally found happiness, in myself. 

It took me two years to forgive and forget the past. Three to feel happy again. I never thought this day would come but I am ready to wear yellow. 

I am happy.

♥♥

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